Unit One: A Few Covenant Essentials 

Lesson Ten: Getting Along Together

Sometimes two people who go to the same church will see the same thing in two different ways. We like different things. We sing different styles of music. We like different leaders or different designs for our church buildings.

It can be something silly. Like the music thing. Some people like modern, contemporary songs and some like more traditional music. There’s nothing in the Bible about musical styles, so we should be able to like what we like. 

Sometimes we disagree on important things, like what the message of the church will be or how to vote on a very big issue in the state election. Those can be difficult decisions. We won’t always see the same issue in the same way.

There must be some way for Christians to come to the same church and talk about these big issues without arguing and fighting.

There is.

It’s so important that the Evangelical Covenant Church made it one of their basic assumptions, or affirmations, as they call them. There are only six affirmations, and one of them says that we can disagree and still be friends.

It has to be that way, because there are fuzzy things in the Bible. The fuzzy things are places where scripture isn’t really clear or where God has given us a lot of freedom to make the church comfortable for us, the way we like it.

For example, the style of music that we choose for our church is a very fuzzy issue. The Bible doesn’t have much to say about it. The color of the drapes in the pastor’s office would be a meaningless, unimportant, fuzzy issue.

On the other side of the equation, there are things that are just true. They don’t change, no matter what. They aren’t fuzzy. They are perfectly clear.

We’ve been studying some of the very clear truths of scripture. We can find them in the other affirmations of the Covenant Church.

What are they?

We learned that the Bible is the place we go to see what is true and what is not. We consider it the Word of God, because God has given us the Bible to teach us.

We learned that God calls us to a new life in Christ that is abundant, eternal, and new.

We learned that the Holy Spirit gives power to accomplish some very difficult work, lives in you if you are a Christian, acts like a wax seal showing that Christians belong to God, and makes life more fun.

We learned that the church is the place where Christians come together to worship, to learn, to serve, and to encourage each other. The church is the people—not the building.

And we learned that every Christian has a mission—two missions, in fact. They fit together, so maybe it’s just one big mission. 

Those are some of the things that are just always true. We hang on to those truths, no matter what.

But beyond those things, there are places where we will disagree. There are ways to disagree that can be very helpful, while other ways can be very damaging. We’re talking about fights—arguments—conflicts.

This has been a big problem in churches. If people aren’t careful, a simple disagreement can grow into a big fight. People sometimes say horrible things to each other, and feelings get hurt.

Sometimes half the church will leave, and no one is happy, no matter what side of the fight they were on.

The Bible has a few things to say about that. I’ve got a verse for you.

If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:15    (NIV)

By the way, biting and devouring describe the hurtful words people sometimes say to each other. People insult each other, or they tell each other that they are spiritual failures. It’s very nasty, and it can happen if we let our anger take over. That kind of language can destroy people—or in other words, it can damage their faith, ruin their confidence, and take away their desire to serve God.

Here’s another.

This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
1 John 3:11    (NIV)

What does this have to do with a church arguing?

Here’s another.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
Peter 3:8     (NIV)

Here’s another, and this is cool.

Starting a quarrel is like smashing a great big hole in a dam, so that the water comes crashing through, and everyone is all “Look out!” because the water just destroys everything and stuff, so don’t start the argument in the first place!
Proverbs 17:14    (okay, I paraphrased this)

There are a lot of these verses in the Bible—which brings up a point. When the Bible says something over and over, pretty much in the same way, using simple words that don’t require a dictionary to decipher, then God is serious!

If God says something over and over, he means it.

So God wants us to get along together. There’s just one little problem. You can’t try to pass a rule that we never disagree. It won’t work. Disagreements are inevitable.

Do you know that Christians have argued about whether guitars and drums should be allowed into church? In fact, people have argued about whether piano and organ should be allowed in church, and those are pretty much standard equipment.

So let’s just assume that we don’t all agree. But if we have to disagree about things, God wants us to do it right. Keep your cool, stay away from big fights, study and learn, encourage and pray. That’s the way the church was meant to function.

Here’s a scavenger hunt for you. The book is Colossians, a small letter in the New Testament, tucked in after Philippians, Galatians, and Ephesians, not in that order.

Check out chapter three, verses 12-17, and write down any word or phrase that tells how the church should get along with each other. There are things listed here that create a fun and encouraging church. So find ten or so and write them down.

Check out Philippians 2 in your Bible. This is a cool chapter, so if you can read it all, try to take the time to do it.

In verse two, you can find three or four phrases that sort of mean the same as the word unity. Write those phrases, and put them in your own words.

When it comes to getting along, Jesus was a good example of the kind of person that God would like us to be. It says in verse six that he knew he was God, but he did something (verse seven) that seemed out of character for someone so powerful and important. So look in verse seven. What did Jesus do that is a good example for us?

Let’s add this up. What do we have so far?

If we fight, we will eventually destroy each other.

We’re not supposed to do that. We’re supposed to get along. We’re supposed to care about each other.

We have to practice kindness, forgiveness, and patience with each other.

And we should encourage and teach each other, which should make it easier for the people around us to grow and be strong and be better followers of Jesus.

Does that mean we won’t disagree? No, unfortunately not. But it will change the way we handle our differences.

After all, a disagreement might be a good thing. We might all learn something. We might all just grow up a little.

And growing up is always a good thing.

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